The Pinnacle of Fear

I still feel like a dead man walking as they still haven't told us shit. Supposedly it will be tomorrow or Thursday. All they said was to come in at 9-10am everyday for you must be present for the grim reaper. Everyone's got their own theories... I wish I could create propositions and take bets. R thinks it's overhyped and we should be left intact. G thinks 1-2 of us will be canned. F thinks mainly contractors will be canned. It seems that K, C, and I hold the most negative outlook... I just wanna win regardless of what happens so I'll hedge and bet big that I'm gone. Becoming pleasantly suprised isn't an option for me as I'll find something that'll get me down again anyways. fuck fuck fuck. I need to see a therapist.


Milk, one Crunk Club

Let's see what else... Friday night we ate at Cha Cha Cha in the Haight for MJ's b-day. Other than the 2 hour wait and the rude patrons at the bar the food was satisfying and very inexpensive. Afterwards we hit a club called Milk across the street. Now this was probably the biggest highlight of the weekend. A local hiphop group called Foreign Legion got the place crunk. Too bad they didnt play my jam.. Secret Agent Man. To my pleasant surprise the crowd was more mature than I orginally expected. I guess the FL attracts fans from their own demographic.. white, middle class, thirtysomethings from beyond the bridges and tunnels. Milk: fix them damn speakers tho.. they sound like ass. To that cute hoochie bartender in the back: be careful woman... i'm with my wife. Overall, we had a blast. We all danced for a couple hours.. something I haven't done in years. I even re-learned that dancing can help offset drunkeness. I'll keep that in mind.


Free Food Downstairs

Tonight we went to a grand opening party for the supermarket downstairs. We were supposed to pay 10 bux each but no one asked for money so we just walzed on in. I'm not cheap and I would've loved to pay but times are rough now and they may not have even taken a check from us (we didn't have the cash). Besides they'll be robbing us blind in a few days anyways. Anyways, they had all kinds of whores-de-vours going: bits of steak and lamb, different cheeses, pizza, sushi, and various deserts. Oh yeah, they had wine too. It was hardly enough though as they ran out of their cab right after I got a glass. Overall it was very gracious of them to throw the party.

I just picked up my 3rd Bukowski book: Women. Hopefully it'll counter this anxiety I'm stricken with.