Hella Stupid at Rich's 93

Honestly... what would Bukowski done if he was around in its prime? So yeah I'm fucked up. And as soon I get on this computer I lose my complete train of thought. Could Bu have survived during the times? Where maddness is a click or keystroke away. I don't doubt it one bit... but the other shit that this 'connectivity' would of fucked up his world. More thoughts woulda been on his mind. Sensory overload. Imagine the number of IM's he would get? How would he have handled life in these times. This is coming to you from a man... a grown ass man living in the 00's in a city where morality takes lesser precedence. Mind you I try. I try to be a lover.. a true romantic. But it just aint there. Not right now. The "scene" just isn't conducive to what I want or what I'm looking for. This weekend was supposed to be hooked up. She tricked me again... I allowed her to trick me again. She's that damn elusive carrot that's been dangling in front of me for almost half my life. This has to stop. I'm drawing the line. Just like I've drawn it numerous times before except this one's permanent. There's only one way I come back and that's if she pays me back that insignificant 238. It aint about the money. We both have the money. It's nothing to either of us. But the money represents respect. The respect that I've been blindingly giving her for years that she has never ever deserved.