I'm Going Blind

Holy Shit -That was the expression on my Optometrist's face after she performed a routine pressure test on my right eye. She tested it again to make sure she wasn't hallucinating and yup, same results: the pressure in my right eye was nearly off the charts. Her reaction was undeniably one of urgency. My problem was way out of her league and I needed to get it taken care of today. Right now.

So she refers me to a glacoma specialist off of Bush and Hyde. I got time to kill so I decide to walk, besides I could already tell this was going to be expensive. Fuck spending a money on a cab.

The specialist was a very confident and intelligent young woman. Frankly, I can't even remember if she was pretty so... no, I wasn't jockin her. She could've looked like Denise Richards and I wouldn't of noticed (seriously). All that was on my mind was the question of whether or not I'd soon be blind.

Anways, She runs various tests which involve dropping various solutions into my eyes then viewing my eyes through strong lenses while I stared into very bright lights. At one point while peering into my right eye she goes "ahhh I see what's going on here". I notice I start to sweat a bit even though it's about 50 degrees in the examination room. Shit, she just found what's about to make me blind. She turns off all the equipment, scribbles stuff into her notebook, smiles, and says she'll be right back. Finally she returns and explains the bad news: I have an eye disease called Posner-Schlossman Sydrome, which is a type of rare form of glaucoma, characterized by extreme eye pressue attacks for periods lasting a few hours to several weeks. The disease is found mainly in younger patients usually from the age of 20 to 40 and it's cause of it is competely unknown. The good news is she checked out my optic nerve, which is the most important component of the inner eye as it connects the eye to the brain, and it's 100% healthy. And I can still drink alcohol and wear contacts (Yes, I had to ask). I'm fortunate to have come in soon after showing symptoms she says as the high pressures have done no permanent damage whatsoever. Whew.

Now for the treatment. I've gotta take 4 different types of eye drops 6-7 times a day total. There goes my pimp game dropping a few more percentage points more... I can just imagine myself at a bar while in the company of a nice young tender on my nuts and saying "hey babygirl, hold up i gotta take my medication" and proceed to drop various solutions into my eye. No, that wouldn't be sexy at all. Shit. But hey, I'll live with it, take the medicine consistently, and in all hope, this will pass.