Wednesday, January 05, 2005


Best Lapdance Ever

After work yesterday G and I hit 4th Street Bar to catch the college game of the decade, the Orange Bowl, between USC and OU. At least that's what the game was billed. What a fuckin' joke. OU, what happened did yall get too drunk the night before?? This was not the team I watched earlier in the season. After the botched punt return and being down 21-7... they just laid down and the game was already decided.

After wolfin' down wings and chicken fingers and washing it down with about 5-6 pints of Stella I was feeling pretty good. So I'm thinkin'... I'm in the city, I'm lit, the game is no longer entertaining, and my VIP card to my favorite SF strip club will soon be expiring... I suggest we go see some tiddies for an hour or so. G agrees wholeheartedly. It's on once again...

We're up in there near the bar, enjoying the scenery. It's prime time and the top shelf talent is just starting to file in. Admittedly, guilt does set in a little. I really didn't belong up in there considering how long I've stayed away and other circumstances. I thought I finally kicked the strip club habit for good.

Like an ex-smoker rewarding himself for quitting by lighting up for old times sake I end up with a couple really smokin dancers on each side of me. Guilt fades. I deserve a reward for my valiant efforts too.

On one side, between G and I, we have a very curvy (in all the right places) latina with a gorgeous face. She's clearly the one everyone in the club is after. On my other side we have a thin curly haired brunette.. lovely as well. Not your typical hoochie mama like the latina but I don't know there's just something about her. I would've gone after the first one but G seems to have taken a liking to her and since he paid for dinner, I let him have first pick.

Anyways, the thinner chick is really coming on to me hard. Compliments were being thrown at me all too frequently. My first impression was she's a serious hustler and I'm initially turned off. But as I check out more of her I realize she's actually more my type: body of a model, nice round ass, and small perky breasts. I decide to run some game on her as if I was at the club. I put my arm around her and feel her waist and ass but devote most of my attention to the latina and her perfect cleavage. I'm sharp tonight. I'm spitting some serious game to one woman while ignoring the one caressing my chest. I guess she's shocked. To recapture my attention and prove her value she states that my face and hands are cold so she grabs my hands and places them on her neck and down to the top of her breasts to "warm them up". Then she positions herself between my legs (she's standing up and I'm sitting in a bar style tall chair) and starts rubbing herself all over me. We're stuck in a deep embrace with her warm body pressing against my crotch. We stay in this position for two songs. Her slight wiggle movements have me aroused. She can tell. Unable to control myself any longer I ask her for a dance.

This pre-dance foreplay led to the most sensuous lapdance I've ever experienced. I still can't think about anything else. Mind you, I've had a lot of lapdances in my time and have done some wild things inside strip clubs but this was ironically the wildest. During the dance she's grinding seductively on my lap and several times she whispers in my ear how horny she is and that I have sexy lips. The woman had a look in her eyes like she worshipped me. Suddenly, she brings her lips to mine and kisses me. Instinctively, I kiss her back and soon our tongues are engaged in a battle. This went on for about half a song. All the while I'm massaging her ass underneath and she's moving her satin covered cunt up and down against my woody. For that minute and a half I was gone... lost in sheer and utter bliss. Suddenly I realized where I was and what I was doing. Strippers don't kiss you. Sometimes they'll suck you off or let you fuck them.. but one thing they don't do is kiss.

I somehow break away and tell her I better quit before I get kicked out and she whispers that she'll probably get kicked out too if someone saw that. I'm still blown away. I'm convinced the woman is in love with me. Either that, or she's the best actress in the world.

I get another dance.. a more typical one (although she still manages to bite my wood gently through my pants and let me massage her moistness with my hand through her g-string). Then it ends... I blurt out that I have to rejoin my friend. We stop. She hangs out on my lap for another song. It seems we can't let go of each other. Like an old girlfriend forever addicted to me she won't leave. Finally, I hand her 40 bux and tell her to come find me again in a little while.

I go back and join G and the latina and pound a couple patron shots. I overhear G and the latina are discussing her voyeuristic fantasies but I still couldn't think about anything else outside of what just happened. I can't believe I "made out" with a dancer.

I tell G its time to get ghost. We were only supposed to stay for an hour. As we make our exit out the club, I run into my gal. She grabs my arm and tries to pull me into a chair while reminding me how much fun we just had. I decline reluctantly knowing I had to get out of there now before I try to take her to somewhere else. She knows she's in my head. I get her digits and tell her I'll be back very soon...