Yesterday, after our weekly staff meeting I was relieved to discover I had received no emails for about two hours. A little weird, but sweet considering I've been bombarded as of late. A collegue suddenly pops his head above the cubicle wall and says that a bunch of his emails to me were getting returned as "undeliverable". Shocked as hell, I take a look in the GAL and find that my name is missing. I call a friend who has access to view Active Directory objects and he confirms my fears.
My email address has been deleted off the corporate mail servers.
WTF??? So I'm sitting at my desk absolutely horrified. I'm busted. I'm about to get fired. But for what? Pr0n, warez, talking dirty to chicks online? Maybe they caught my hand in the cookie jar viewing classified data. I'm screwed. I start deleting "evidence" on my PC, 0-day exploits, NSFW pics of Jessica Alba, chatlogs, etc. I walk around and try to see through the expressions of my teammates. Nothing. I call the help desk and demand an explanation and insist they re-enable my account. Nogo, they can't do anything until the next business day. Fuck.
Then I think back to the meeting and that Panda Garden chinese food I ate in there. It came with a fortune cookie. The cookie said something to the effect of something strange will happen. Don't be paranoid about it.
What are the chances? I don't believe in the fortunes and whutnot but this has got to be a sign from up above. Without delay, I'm relieved.
Besides, I don't have any pr0n on my office system. The company can care less about warez, in fact they've provided many warez to us. 0-day exploits and hax0r tools are supposed to be on my PC. I'm a security engineer for chrissakes. And as far as trying to fuck hoes online, uhmm... no comment.
And just as I thought. It was nothing. Most likely some lackey windows monkey accidental fat fingering some buttons resulting in deletion of my account. :-)