Friday, March 17, 2006

In a rut

Yes, I'm in a bit of a rut. I can't seem to organize the 200 or so things I have going on in my head. Nor do I have the time. It's utterly frustrating. The only time I'm free to work things out in my head is after we put my daughter to sleep until the time I fall asleep. And when you squeeze in sex, exercise, and a little partying in during this free time there is not much time to critically look at the issues at hand. You do your best to maintain efficiency without sacrificing anything. By 2 or 3am I'm beat up. You sleep for a few hours then do it all over again. I'm exhausted at work, bogged down from lack of rest and the hangovers. It's a never ending cycle.

Yeah, I know not a damn thing has changed.

I want to work on a business plan for that idea I've had in my mind for quite some time now. I want to finish reading The fuckin Fountainhead. I want to go out and meet new people to help motivate me. I want to get rid of this fuckin gut. I want to take some classes. I want to look for a new job.

I want my cake and I want to eat it too.