Anxiety... a feeling that has gradually filled my being today. After a relaxing day spent with the wife shopping and catching a flick I feel that I must face the inevitable: a lame trip to Phoenix tomorrow morning. Again I ask why? What's the point in all this? As a pack my bags I've come to this realization that this may be the last time I spend time with my beloved coworkers. The first time we're all in one place... The first time we can finally match faces to those voices... And unfortunately, for some of us, our last time to see each other. Man that sux. How can we pretend to even have an interest in the activites and seminars when in the back of our minds the decisions about our fate will have been made when we return to our respective homes?

I suppose I'll just try to make the best out of a sad situation. Be respectful.. keep a smile on my face blah blah blah. I'm tempted to put expensive meals and entertainment on my expense card just to send the message that they are fucking assholes for putting us through this. Maybe I can get some lapdances and a few rounds on the company. Just kidding HA HA.

Time to switch subjects... The wife and I saw The Last Samurai today and yes the praise it has received truly is deserved. It was awesome, inspiring, and unique. I'd say it was comparable to Gladiator or Braveheart in the context of war and honor except it depicted a history I wasn't too familiar with: feudal Japan. The way the Samurai prepared for war was astounding. I'll just leave it at that.

Oh well better pack some more and prepare for sleep I'll share some more thoughts on the movie later.

My boss dropped a bomb on us yesterday. Looks like our group could be affected by the massive reorg that's occuring now until early January. Even though I've tried not to get too comfortable here and I'm no stranger to layoffs and reorgs this comes somewhat as a shock. I realize management is just trying to improve their bottom line and layoffs are the norm for any large profitable business but damn they are barking up the wrong tree... We're a core group with excellent chemistry that's critical to day to day business. We're also all overworked and shortstaffed about 2-3 people. And they want to reduce or dissolve us?? It makes me sick.

On top of that, they're sending us all out of town next week for an offsite. Why? So they can't decide who they're going to cut without any distractions? Man... talk about adding insult to injury.

If i do happen to get cut all should be fine. A new comparable job should be attainable in a reasonable amount of time and rainy day funds should suffice. Nevertheless it stings and has become a source of my concern. It bothers me that I've taken this job for granted at times especially when it has so much going for it: proximity to home, flexibility, awesome manager, etc. I worry about losing those positives far more than financial consequences.

Until we know for sure I'm gonna try to relax and have a good attitude. However I will take a few precautions as well... I must prepare for the unexpected.. or in this case.. the inevitable.

"I'm like Giambi cuz I could go 5 for 5 in the interview room or up in da the club..."
--yours truly

Mafia recruiting spammers, crackers, AV chief warn

wow

werd up. Just got out of a conference room cake party for a coworker who just got married. Lemon cake was off da chain. Not much has been happening lately because future plans depend on the results of future events (i.e. possible layoffs at offsite, midterm grades). During this brief standstill I've been a serious bum. I've been staying up til 4am, d/ling mp3's, steering clear of that weight room and treadmill, and fine tuning my blitzes in madden. Ouch. My bruce lee physique now resembles homer simpson's.

On the brighter side, I think I'm finally getting over this damn flu. The damn thing lasted approximately 12 days. Sore throat and muscle aches subsiding... regaining flexibility...

With that said, I'm going to push myself once again. I've got three motivating factors: xmas trip quickly approaching, seeing how quick my homie got swole, an ambien prescription.

I've been d/ling and bumping some new (relatively) Foreign Legion tracks. Not sure why but I can totally relate to their style and where they're coming from. Gotta cop dat.

Quote of the day:
"I'm a lover not a gambler."
--yours truly

I really have to see Honey on the big screen. Must find a way to see it...

In case you're wondering about what happened to that jumper... I have no idea. I slept through it. After investing all those hours watching him run around the ledge and the different rescue tactics the police used I still don't know. I took a nap between 4:00-4:30 and looked outside and he was gone. :( Pretty sure he didnt jump because there wouldve been a mess out there. However I do have pics. Once I have a pic hosting site I'll put them on here.

Jumper still hasn't jumped nor has he been rescued. I feel like i've been out there with him... since i haven't slept either. doh.

Ok right now some guy is standing on the edge of the one-story building across the street yelling "Help! Help! They're trying to kill me!!" About eight cops and firemen are standing around watching. Now that's carazy. I figure he's bluffing (let's hope I'm right) since if he really wanted to die he would've found a better method of suicide and he probably would've already attempted it. I don't even know why I'm watching this debacle. I'm sure this type of shit happens in this God-forsaken city all the time. I suppose I'm anxious to see how police and fire personnel are going to handle this. I'd probably try to get some sleep but I don't think I'd be possibly with this guy yelling. I wish they'd do something to get this guy down.. but i figure this is their best option. Sending a hero to the roof would probably freak him out and he'd really jump. Setting up a ladder would probably do the same. They've already tried cajoling him into.... Ok i take that back -they've set up a fire truck ladder for the guy. Sure did take a long time... Figured they wanted him to think about it for awhile.

Ok the dood wants nothing to do with that ladder.. he's even moved as far away from it as possible. SFFD.. it's you're move. Here we go again... this dood is crawling all over the ledge yelling. What the fuck? I guess he's just dieing for some attention or something. Ahh shit.. now he's straddled the Harrison Street sign, which is for some reason connected to the building. This guy's suddenly gotten bolder, performing a tightrope act on the ledge. (with an amazing quickness i might add). he looks sober to me. Daym.. i wanted to blog this from beginning to end but it won't be possible. BRB.

Man... I've been sick with the flu for the past few days. Although I really was sick (sore throat, fever, muscle pains) it was fun. I mean what's better than waking up at noon popping some sedatives and painkillers then watching a bond marathon or playing madden all day. I was able to clear my mind and re-tool for what lies next. Its amazing what good can come from roasting on the coach for two days undisturbed.. wooohooo!!!!

Let's see what else...
AJ XII nubucks.. $200.00 DAYM.. definitely the most I've ever paid for shoes. Trust me they'll be worth it.

James Bond - I'm addicted to those flicks right now, especially the older ones. They didn't depend on technology and sleight of camera so much like the last few releases... I'm talking about 'The Spy Who Loved Me' and 'Octopussy' era of James Bond. The era was just more elegant and 'pimp' than the one we live in now. Hopefully I get a dvd volume for x-mas.. hook it up.

Calimari salad - man.. the wife makes a killer one.

Trip to Phoenix - it's steadily approaching.. and yes it will suck azz

Italian Job and Confidence - Two movies I can't stop watching. Can't wait to own.

Stranger from a Strange Land - Reading it again.

Oh yeah.. and in addition to my "Lessons Learned" from earlier:

7. Do not dwell on past mistakes. Acknowledge, examine, incorporate, then move on.

Quote:

"Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for."
--Socrates

Ok had a pretty rough Thanksgiving weekend (or should I say week since I was off the whole week). Early in the week I had a couple tough exams I had to take. Unsure about one.. aced the other... Euphoric from a supposed "victory" i proceeded to party my azz off for the next 5-6 days. Not sure what it is but the combination of hardcore partying, having friends in town and a fat wallet will drain you physically, mentally and of course financially. I'd rather not go over the details but it was pretty darn stressful.. and the holidays are not supposed to be like that. All those brain cells and benjamins lost... ouch.

But hey that's part of life and we need to learn from our experiences (it's never too late). On that note, I'm starting a section called "Lessons Learned". Here's the first installment:

Lessons Learned:

1. When going to clubs/bars plan your appropriately expenses. You as a patron can easily get fleeced. Carefully scrutinize the bill, bring cash, try to avoid being the point man, stay in control especially when out in unfamiliar places.

2. Avoid doing drugs when the situation isn't right or if you are unfamiliar with your surroundings. You never know what type of effect they'll have on you in strange places.

3. 3 days of hardcore partying is your current limit. 4 is doable but it will completely drain you.

4. Try to avoid partying with a huge crowd.. especially if you're the designated point man.

5. Quit picking up the bill every time you go out to eat/drink.

6. No more CC's in clubs/bars. Period.