Heartbreak Hotel

That low key Saturday night finally manifested itself last night as M (not that M... she's waaay cuter though) went over to my homie's house to bbq and catch game 1 of the Rockets game versus those bitch ass Lakers. We were both pretty beat from consecutive decadent weekends and a strenuous week at work (have I ever mentioned I have the same schedule as a nurse?). To keep a long story short we watched an ugly but close game in which our beloved Rox lost by one point. Either this game shows them they can actually hang with the Lakers or it will bring down their spirits. I suspect it'll be the latter but we'll tune in tomorrow to find out. We drank some beers, ate some ribs and smoked a little mary jane. Overall it was a pleasurable low key night. I probably would've invited her up afterwards but i dunno.. she just didn't turn me on enough.

Depths of My Mind

So yeah.. it's late Sunday night and in the back of my mind I am considering what happens next. Does she disappear from the face of the yahoo messenger earth? Does she log in to taunt me? It really doesn't matter because I'm done. How should I play either scenario? I do know one thing for sure... Coquette Whore's actions will not affect me. It just sucks because I am, by design and genetic makeup, curious as fuck. I've always believed I could fix anything or even make things (or in this case humans) do what they weren't designed to do. Can I restrain myself? Yeah, no sweat.. as long as she doesn't provoke me. I'm pretty sure she won't since I know she's pretty disgusted too. Besides, I'm sure she's still bitter that I hung up on her twice. Stupid Bitch. Bye Bye.

On Seduction

Honestly, I won't miss her. However, I will miss trying to seduce her. I no longer have that sparing partner, that testing environment before I hit the bars/lounges. The drudgery of work will hurt without someone to seduce. It I worked at a club or bar things would be different. I could do this shit all day. Is a change of careers inevitable in the near future? Until I find something that could beat my current income I doubt it. It just sucks that I'm still so inclined to try to fuck other women. Seriously I'm at a crossroads... only time will tell how I adapt.