Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Happy New Year!!!

The celebration is over and I have no more time to recollect trials and tribulations of 2004. It's back to the grind for me...

As I look back upon my past I've found that every stressful period in my life only resulted in strengthening my inner self and overall character. That's understood.

No matter how tough the situation I've always risen to the occaison. For example back in early 2001 when I got laid off from my dotcom. I was severely in the red. My woman at the time was in school and didn't make much at her part time job. The assholes at the dotcom provided us with a paltry 2 weeks of severance. I didn't know how I was going to come up with rent, 2 car payments, etc. I had no savings and I was heavily in debt.

What did I do? I just took it to another level. I submitted about 100-200 resumes per day for any openings I felt remotely qualified for. I quit spending. I went to the gym every night and even went snowboarding. I ate ham and cheese sand "wishes". I studied like a mutha. And best of all... I had a four interviews and received four offer letters in less than a week. I signed in less than 7 days after receiving my pink slip. Mind you, also, this all happened during dotcom bust times.

Yeah I learned alot. I will always step up to the plate and knock the shit out of any challenges thrown at me.

But at what cost?

I know for sure that my ability to take things to that other level and consistently come through under extreme pressure is difficult. I can't think of anyone else that would be willing to make the sacrifices I make to get what I want during these times. What I accomplish is in one word: supernatural. And trust me, I am not tooting my own horn...

My concern is the price I pay for this ability to change the outcome of things and my ability to slow my eventual demise. Look at all the new ailments I've become inflicted with in the past few years... The back problems, the eye disease, the allergies, the grey hair, and hair thinning. All must be a direct result of energy spent in conquering certain problems. In fact, these problems probably manifest themselves from one another. It's like a fuckin' game of wack-a-mole in which I'm winning but as I win I keep advancing to levels with more and more moles to deal with.

Although I'm continue on my devastating winning streak, the game is taking a toll on me... I must find a way to cheat. I'm just not good at video games any more.