Monday, February 14, 2005

Player's Holiday

Ahhh Valentine's Day 2005, by far my favorite holiday. It's the only day I have to take out the missus for a bank account-crippling dinner at some snotty french restaurant like fucking Fleur de Lys. On top of that, you have to cop a wallet-flattening ring or watch etched with words like "Cartier" or "Rolex". Do all that shit you might get some action.

Or... I can be that casanova who descends upon all the best bars in the city to exploit vulnerabilities hot single women share on this special day. Let's face it, on this evening all single pretty women without a V-Day mate are either at home layered in thick sweats scarfing down Godivas cholocate they bought for themselves or at their favorite watering hole wearing skimpy clothing and no panties. In their pretty little heads they envision mr. right showing up and sweeping them off their feet to fill that romantic void. Instead they will settle for a dude like me with a little wit, persistance, and no cash to fill the void tonight... between their legs.

As for me, I'm doing neither of the above. Instead, I'm stuck on conference calls with lifeless bores called project managers while I fill out my damn time report while I pretend I'm not looking at pr0n and downloading mp3's. I'm dreading the fact that in a few short days both our moms will be here to support us through the delivery. I'm dreading the fact that I will have to be on my best behavior and not drink, smoke, curse too much. Scary.

Happy Valentines Day!!!