Saturday, April 23, 2005

Munchkin Pacified

Today marks the first day wifey went to work (for over 8 hours) and left me at home with the defiant one. And guess what... yours truly emerged unscathed, victorious.

I'll admit, however, that my MVP performance required hours of preparation. I set up her Baby Genius, checked the fuel supply, queued up the right songs, pumped some iron, and showered. I got off to a strong start as she slept through the first hour and a half. When she awoke I bumped some Spoon, Aretha Franklin, and my ace in the hole: Marvin Gaye. That kept her soothed and more importantly, groovin. Fed her three ounces until she passed out (after several loud trucker sounding burbs) then I dropped her into the Einstein. The Einstein crapped out and started looping the same song over and over. Piece of chet. Yup she was livid and raised some hell, but daddy, unpreturbed picked her up and danced to Linkin Park's "Faint". Man I was on. She absolutely loved that song. She was in such a playful and amicable mood I decided it was time for a photo op.

After snapping about twenty or so adorable pictures she wanted to ZZZZZ. And ZZZZZ she did, long enough to allow daddy to call the man who hates daddy, daddy's bookie. After the man reluctantly accepted my POD's I had time to spare. Birds were conveniently online to get gamed ;-).

After she rose, I decided since I was up (in more ways than one) I might as well take some chances and do some research. Would I call it research if I knew what I was doing? I discovered a new chill technique: the lil' angel didn't necessarily need you to hold her all the time. You could actually put her in the vibrating chair and pretend to hold her. To add effect I got hella animated. I did jumping jacks, push ups and pimp-azz Tony-Montana-dance-moves. She ate it up and her "waaaaas" slowly turned into "daaaaaym... my dad is gangstas". She was way beyond stoked, she was absolutely awestruck. It's like she was thinkin' wow, daddy has wack early nineties dance moves.. but he doesn't give a shit. He truly loves me...

After all that, it was all gravy. I could do no wrong. We chilled. With thirty minutes left to spare til her mama returned she sat on my lap and helped me critique new pimp-tight songs from the download queue... She and I both agreed, Elvis Costello's "Tart" is probably one of the most underrated song in the past few decades.

Til manana...