Friday, February 06, 2004

Another Day, Another Dolla

That's my favorite saying.

Work has been demanding. I code, test, read others code, curse at code. Remember back in like 95-96 when I used to devour tcp/ip and c programming books. I'd check for the latest issue for phrack 3 or 4 times a day. I'd have 4 different boxes running 4 OS's in my room. I'd spend hours on IRC talking to d00ds named plexor and mrmannx about that new sendmail exploit. I used to break into CompassNet and crack password files and share with my buddies on IRC. I didn't know shit. I was such a wannabe. But that's all I did day and night. I didn't give a shit about pulling h0ez at the club or the latest jordans on my feet. I didnt' even kick it with my friends much and when I didn't all I talked about was hacking. I know they thought I was nuts. Oh how things have changed... I just wish I could regain some of that passion I once had. It's not like I'm sick of it but it just isn't the same as it was before. The coolness factor has diminished. You have winderz dweebs who don't respect the game as your peers. You have busters, albeit intelligent busters, who escaped the slums of india by getting A's in oracle class as your competition. They all got into the game for money.. I didn't. I got in for the intellectual challenge, for the satisfaction of pursuit and finally capture. I did it cuz I thought i was the coolest thing ever. It epitomized me in every way for I was rebellious, unconventional, mad at the world yet motivated enough that I felt I could truly change it. Not much has changed huh...

In retrospect I owe alot to those 2-3 years of immersing myself in the computer underground. I probably wouldn't be where I am today. I'm so lucky to have found my true calling. It got me into the legitimate world of "computer security". A world of change requests and concurrent version systems. I make an above average salary to write code and secure systems. I just wish it didn't feel like a job. Some how some way I must get that passion back.. Hack to live.. live to hack.