Thursday, January 08, 2004

This entry won't be pretty.

I'm trapped in a dark moment in my life right now... The anxiety caused by work along with the realization that I can't trust anyone has really gotten under my skin. I've been drinking excessively. Unlike before though, when I used to just drink alot and party, it's been different as of late... I've been drinking to numb pain.

Work is one issue. I'm sure you've heard enough about that situation. No matter how much I complain about it deep down I know it's just a change. Possibly one for the best.

The idea of trust is another issue. It's screwed up. Why do I grant people trust by default? Have I always been like that? I'm pretty sure I haven't but what induced this change? Why do I think people have similar virtues as myself? I'm losing my fuckin edge here... Get it into your fucking skull... TRUST NO ONE... never.. even after they give you ten reasons to trust them.

To the punk azz that betrayed my trust. You aint my nuga.. you aint my boy. You'll feel it. How would you like it if I went and told your wife about your nasty substance abuse problem? To her you're a fuckin perfect angel. You're such a fucking sell out. Marry the wealthiest woman you could find, abandon your identity, say fuck you to everyone in the world and laugh because you're now sheltered forever... Pussy ass hoe.. you never could do anything for your damn self huh? I was your last homie. Where have they all gone? Ask yourself that...

To that cold-hearted bitch.. you know who you are. I should've fucked you every chance I had.. and that's plenty. You little slut-tramp-ass-whore. That's all you wanted huh? If I woulda broke you off everything would be kewl huh? Silly of me to think otherwise. I just wanted to put it behind is and become good friends again, that's it. Remember when you called me 'you're best friend'? Silly of me to think you were different from all these other skanky h0ez on my jock. Funny you tricked me into thinking otherwise considering you done fucked half of alief. You're only best friend is this dick h0e. Don't ever try to enter my life again. Fuck you dirty azz bitch.