Friday, January 02, 2004

It feels like it's been ages since my last journal entry. Over the next few days I'll attempt to recount possibly the most chaotic, decadent, alcohol-induced experiences during the past two weeks. If I don't most of it will be forgotten, some of it purposely, and pushed into the depths of my psyche.

NOTE: The names have been changed to protect the innocent (and guilty)

Tue Dec 16, approximately 02:30 PM

Jules, Harry and I arrive in the desertland after an uneventful flight. I can't remember much from the trip except for Jewli's excessive yapping. Upon arrival we check into a cheesy Southwestern style desert inn. Famished, we hit the in-house restaurant and I immediately order a beer: a heneiken. I order the special burger medium well. It arrives severely burned. Straight up disgusting. Tortilla soup is excellent however... probably the only thing edible in the entire place. I order heneiken #2. Catch a slight buzz and meet some fellow remote coworkers. Everyone is hella kewl. Suprisingly, they all appear to be more secure about their jobs than we are. I suppose they're just better prepared... A few hours later we're standing around having cocktails and meeting some more remotes. Much fun. Where's the keg dammit? Open bar?? Daym I better drink up... too bad there's no scotch. While standing around bsing I can immediately tell who I'll be kicking it with.

Eddie, the scruffy 40 something chain smoking dranker who just don't give a fuck.

Mory, the muscle head playa who is almost as quiet as myself.

Hasker, alternative pearl jam type mofo who just don't give a fuck.

Laura, the blonde i-can't-believe-she's-a-sysadmin hottie from Iowa (jeah I can see she's jocking).

Stephen, the mullet-sporting desert pimp that can out drink everyone here.

Suzanne, the nerd by day poolshark by night chick from Minnesota.

I can't forget to mention the h0e we're all worried about...

Kay, the evil power monger beeyotch.

Anyways, after dinner we find ourselves at the internal bar getting severely dranked... Double Makers please... and another... then I settle down for a fat tire ale. Someone picked up the tab too. Sweeeet.

After the squares turn in, the truest troopers head on down to the local poolhall. I proceed to imbibe further and even manage to turn a few heads with my leet 9-ball skills. It's all good. One thing I do notice is the fact that the city seriously lacks diversity. I began to get the feeling that some locals (not to mention some of my rural coworkers) have never seen someone of my ethnicity. It's not something I've felt in a few years but it's something that's obvious to detect. Oh well... I think I showed them how them ethnics hold it down and get crunk.

We get back to the hotel around 3am or so extremely inebriated. I deperately needed to get to bed but I'm a fucking lush. As soon as I stumble out of the truck Stephen announces he has a cooler full of Bud Lights. Ouch. I'm not much of a lite beer drinker but my dumbass just couldn't turn it down so I proceeded to toss back a couple cold ones while shooting the shit. Don't ever try to out drink a native Arizonian sporting a mullet. You won't be able to hang. After I get back to the room I text an old friend... can't believe she's up and is down to talk for awhile. Finally I crash around 4am.