Saturday, May 22, 2004

The Unattractiveness of Insecurity

This morning (well morning for me) I figure I could use a little therapy so I pop into my local pool hall to knock some balls around. I purposely ask for a table away from where all the sharks and hustlers are situated so I could ponder life's eternal questions over some 9-ball... in peace. Somehow, some old timer takes notice and takes a stool nearby to watch me shoot. Couldn't this dood go annoy someone else? I had no desire to be critiqued. Plus, it tends to make me a little nervous. If I wasn't taught to respect my elders I would've told the old man to get lost and change his fuckin depends. Naturally, wannabe Paul Newman, tries to give me a few pointers... "this is how you should aim properly blah blah blah". I tell him thanks but my expressions say fuck off old man.

I guess he finally gets the hint and takes off.


Afterwards, I hit the bookstore and to get some studying in. I immediately notice a chick studying with her guy friend (it looked platonic). She's a cute, thin, 22ish asian chick. Although she's dressed down in jeans and a beat up sweatshirt, not to mention, wearing no makeup, she's undeniably hot. Also, I can't help but notice her face: it bears a striking resemblance to M's (circa 1992). Daym, this is the second woman I've seen in recent weeks that looks like her. Is fate telling me to holler at M again? Or does it just mean M's features are nothing but pretty yet common? She looks back at me as I find a seat. Shit, I have two chapters I must read. I try to block this chick out but I can't. She's already intrigued me. I start having one of my knee-jerk reactions and subtly try to get her attention. So, with my eyes I magically let her know I'm attracted. I'm looking good and my confidence is showing so my efforts have some effect on her. She's glancing back at me with devious and sexy little smiles. Here we go again... I've got a live one.

Then something happens to her. Her body language starts to tell me she's just realized she's looks like she just climbed out of bed. Her confidence disappears. I can't help but notice her leg even starts to shake a little. I don't get it, would I be looking at a woman like she was a pork chop if I didn't think she was hot, regardless of what she was wearing? Besides, I like how pretty chicks look when they're a little disheveled. Obviously, she can't figure this out. What the hell?

Anyways, this works in disinteresting me. I proceed to read two chapters without distractions.